On this Anniversary I am Falling in Love, Again and Again and Again

God is the true lover of my soul.  God’s love seeks to satisfy my soul.  When I allow myself to be loved as God’s love is offered every longing is satisfied.

When I seek to be loved in the selfish way I want to be loved, my longings are never met.  When I am fixed on my own cravings I not only mess up my life, but also my relationships with others who love me; and most importantly my relationship with God.  My wrongful cravings are adulterous; leaving God and those who love me feeling like an unrequited lover.

It is starting to take hold in my life God is not an unapproachable holy figure needing nothing and no one; totally self-satisfied.  I am becoming more intimately acquainted with a God who has a broken heart and feels like a spurned lover.  God loved me to death–literally.  Why would I choose a false God of my own making; when I can have the passion of a true God?  “God yearns jealously for the spirit that God has made to dwell in us”, James says.  God put a craving mechanism in my heart, so I might respond to God’s craving for my love.

So, I am coming to realize God’s sole desire is not for me to meet divine demands of execute a heavenly plan.  God’s will is not something stern and foreboding; like doing errands for God because I don’t want to be called on the carpet.  It is starting to sink into my soul, God has a craving for me in a romantic way.  God is passionate about me and wants to share in a fruitful relationship.  What God wants most is ME!  God needs me not just to be a minister, but God’s needs me to simply love God.  

Today. Terri and I celebrate a wedding anniversary.  Our marriage has taught me much about loving another person and loving God.  Our marriage relationship and my relationship with God reciprocally teach me more about loving her and loving God.  For most of the time these relationships are full of great joy, and sometimes I experience great sadness.  The key to both is to remain faithful in my focus on how God and she crave me with their love.  The more I allow God and Terri to love me, the more love I can offer God and others.  Yet, when I allow myself to be distracted by other desires like preserving my time, holding onto my share, or meeting my needs I am unable to experience the love of God and others.

I thank God I have a spouse who is stubborn about our love being first and foremost in our lives; she will not cave in to my unnecessary cravings.  I am amazed again on this day how she has shown me love that has stirred up an awakening of God’s love in my life.  For all that more I thank a loving God who craves my love.  And, I thank Terri who loves me more than anyone else on earth.  I love you Terri, I am the luckiest, and Happy Anniversary!

Published in: on June 14, 2011 at 11:01 am  Comments (1)  
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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. Russell, I love you so much and God loves us, too! Your gift of words stirs joyous tears and a smile in heart! Thankyou, Lord, for putting us together and I love you!
    I, too, am the luckiest! Happy Anniversary, honey! I love you more and more!
    Forever yours, Terri

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